When you realize it’s okay to feel however you feel, even if it’s “bad,” you immediately get a sense of relief. That’s radical acceptance.
I’m finally in Milwaukee, and, after wanting to be here for so long, after all the pains and tribulations my family and I have gone through to get this, I’m scared.
Yesterday, while I was driving to pick up some house stuff from the nearest Target, the grey skies and multi-lane roads, the enormous parking lots and the potholes were waving at me, “Oh, hello! You’re not gonna like us!”
I felt sad and empty, what am I doing here?, I heard my mind asking. What if I don’t like it here? What if I can’t bear the weather? What if my job doesn’t work out? What if…?
Thankfully, my mindfulness training kicked in and I remembered the idea of the “double arrow” I learned from Tara Brach.
You’re struck by the first arrow, which is the “bad” feeling, always a derivative of fear. When you sense the pain, you think you “shouldn’t” feel that way, and so you shoot yourself a second, more painful arrow, in punishment for the feeling.
Yesterday, as fear gripped my ribcage, I said to myself, “it’s okay to feel this way.” And, “everything is in constant motion and this, too, shall pass.”
In that instant, I sensed my arms relaxing on the wheel. The back of my neck let go of whatever it was holding and I breathed.
Accepting my “yucky” feelings actually made them less “yucky,” giving me quick path to relief from the anxiety I was immersed in.
Which unwanted feelings could you accept to immediately feel more at peace?
Love,
Carolina
Carolina Perez Sanz 