In a video about the power of emotions, a woman talked about desiring to lose weight. Not being a “risk taker,” she said, she didn’t dare to visualize living in a body she felt good in.
Her doubt rang true. How many times haven’t I “hedged” my comments about my desired future––so not to jinx it? How many times haven’t I heard others downplay their optimism––just in case?
Today, I was telling my husband about an interview I have coming up, for a job I didn’t even apply for. I was ecstatic but didn’t want to appear too optimistic.
I felt silly being so happy. Naïve, gullible. Childish.
Because, what if they’d invited me because I’d rated them low on a survey about hiring processes? (They’d rejected me twice via “after careful consideration” email.)
Wanting to continue to feel good and expect good things to come to me, I scrubbed my hair, so as to remove the thought from my mind. I changed subjects and mentioned another exciting opportunity I’d applied to.
But the suspicion lingered, so I questioned it. Why do I bring that “fear” into my mind?
The sentence “People don’t want to look foolish” I’d read in a text about adult learning came to me.
Ah! My Ego worried I’d look foolish if I believed in the possibilities available if they then didn’t come to pass. I saw my father, “See? It’s always the same!” The collective fear that the other shoe will drop, eventually.
Nonsense, because the knots in my stomach will solve nothing.
If life is about peace and joy, what better moment to experience those than now? And tomorrow will be a new now.
What do you want to believe is available to you, regardless what your Ego thinks?
Love,
Carolina
Carolina Perez Sanz 