Assets, access, and control: that’s all the Ego cares about. It wants to accumulate resources to make sure your body won’t die; to ensure others will be there in case it needs them; to determine who gets what and when so it always stays on top.
And the True Self?
Lately, I’ve been regretting leaving my job at the consulting firm in New York, and leaving the city. Nudged by the Ghosts of Misplaced Shame and Guilt, I wondered what could’ve been, had I stayed there. What level of “success” could I have reached? How much money could I have accumulated?
Today, after watching a video message Patti Smith sent last night, I explored these questions in my morning pages. She has assets, I thought. But more importantly, she has freedom. Her assets (the product of 40 years of work) allow her to live exactly how she wants, to dress how she feels most herself, and to engage with what most matters to her.
I realized that the pursuit of assets, access, and control didn’t make me happy. On the contrary: working for that firm in that city, I felt out of myself. Misaligned. Untrue. Masked. And upholding that mask was taxing.
My Ego, from time to time, reminds me of the business-class flights to São Paulo, or the boutique hotels in Mexico City. It tells me I’m a failure because I work in shorts and barefoot, because I have zero visibility. No status? No worth!
But my True Self knows that freedom is the only true success worth walking towards. Freedom means no need to transform into someone I’m not.
Freedom means peace.
What definition of success are you pursuing?
Love,
Carolina
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Carolina Perez Sanz 