How many times have you agreed with what someone––out of their Ego’s fear––believed?
As a coach, I learned to notice when I might be colluding with a client’s Ego or Ghosts.
For example, a client could say, “It’s very difficult for me to lead my team because I used to be their peer, and so they don’t see me as a true leader.”
If I colluded with their saboteurs (Ego & Ghosts), I’d say, “Oh, yeah, that’s hard. Sounds like you need to earn their respect.”
But if I didn’t, I’d say, “Oh, yeah, it sounds like you’re having a hard time. What do you feel you need right now?”
I knew that as a coach, but yesterday I realized I didn’t know it as a person.
My husband’s Ego-based fear was saying, “I don’t want to move out of Miami Beach—where would I find work as a bike technician, blah blah blah?” And I bought the lie! For years I believed it was true—that our exorbitant rent for a run-down apartment was the price we had to pay for him to stay employed.
The social rejection our son’s facing here forced me to fact-check that assumption and see it for what it is: baloney. We can live somewhere with a strong bicycle culture where rent doesn’t eat half our income.
This collusion with other people’s Egos isn’t new for me. If my father’s Ego believed I couldn’t be a writer, I agreed. If my mother’s Ego believed I had to defer to men in authority, I agreed.
Well, that’s over—my Ego-BS detector’s on now.
What becomes possible for you when you stop swallowing other people’s Ego lies?
Love,
Carolina
Carolina Perez Sanz 