Just don’t cause it.
My father was always wary of stability. When things were going well, he thought it was the calm before the storm. Result? He lived in a constant state of bracing. Hyper-vigilant, in permanent fear.
The problem is that when we live in such states, we’re more likely to cause the turmoil ourselves, because it’s what we’re used to and so, when it doesn’t happen spontaneously, we––unconsciously––provoke it.
Sure, my father’s first-hand experience of the Spanish Civil War between the ages of two and five made his mental addiction to fear and the what-else-will-go-wrong mentality natural.
But does it have to be so? Or is it a breakable habit?
It is a breakable habit.
When remembering the fear you experienced during a specific event in your past, your brain doesn’t know it’s in your past and acts as though it was happening now.
Engaging with the emotion is what created the habit of clinging to fear in the first place, and continuing to do so keeps it active.
Then, when nothing fearful happens outside of you, your brain goes almost into withdrawal mode. The Ghost of Stability Boredom comes in then to save the day: if no turmoil is in sight, you’ll have to create it––do something to feed your active addiction to being afraid and engaging with that emotion.
The way to break the habit is, as neuroscientist and meditation expert Jud Brewer often puts it, to get curious about the feeling you’re getting: where in your body do you feel it? What happens to you when you feel it? What does the feeling want you to do? What will happen if you obey and what if you don’t?
On a more spiritual level, if you see “turmoil” as a normal happening in the universe, you may as well surrender, knowing that everything is a message, a lesson, or a blessing.
Where in your life will you stop causing turmoil and accept stability, even if boredom feels unnerving?
Love,
Carolina
Carolina Perez Sanz 