Carolina Perez Sanz

When we’re kids, we often feel we’re not heard – or not as much as we think we deserve. Grown-ups around us laugh off our opinions because they think we’re cute, or too naive, or don’t know what we’re talking about.

Little by little, the Ghost of Need to Prove crystalizes in our psyche. It convinces us that no one will listen to us unless we prove:

• that we know what we’re talking about
• that we’ve done our homework and aren’t speaking out of nowhere
• that we’re serious

So, here we are: 30, 40, or 50 years later, and the Ghost of Need to Prove is still spurring us to demonstrate our value to others. And the more insecure we are in a given situation, the harsher the spurring is.

What are some signs* that the GoNtP is running the show?

• we speak too much – to prove we know
• we interrupt others – to prove we’re in control
• we contradict others – to prove we have power
• we make inappropriate comments or jokes – to prove we’re not afraid
• we point out errors – to prove we’re smart

Paradoxically, the harder we work on proving ourselves, the less personal power we have – because we give it away to the Ghost.

What changed for you once you stopped listening to the GoNtP?

Love,

Carolina

*PS: If I know all these signs it’s because I’ve observed them all in myself.